Sometimes I feel like I have to be everywhere and do everything everyone asks of me. I feel like I'll be missing out on something amazing if I can't be in twenty places at once. In other words, I have a hard time saying no. Even if I know for certain I can't be somewhere or do something for someone I'll usually say something like, "Oh let me ask my mom." or "I'll have to check my calendar." and usually end it with a, "I would reeeeaaaallllyyy love to." and I'm not messing around, I really would love to do everything. The problems come when I see what I missed when I said no. I see on social media that they had a great time, that the production looked like so much fun, that maybe... they didn't need me and I get really sad.
Maybe that's it. I want to be wanted. And for many of these projects and activities, I know I was.
What I have to do I look at where I was when the other activity was happening. That's when I realize that I was having a great time too! That I was with people that I loved and that loved me and we were making memories together. These are years I will never have back and I want to make every second count. But I need to know what my limits are and remember what's important.

Godspeed ladies and gents

I don't feel like anyone will really care about what I'm about to say, but if you do, thank you.

Once upon a time, there were TV shows that didn't rely on sex and violence to keep people interested, that let you use your brain while also letting you relax (but just barely ha ha). These shows didn't glorify drugs or alcohol but showed you the consequences of their use. They didn't need overused drama to keep you coming back or spitfire curse words to make it feel "grown up". They were special, and they knew it. They were smart, classy, and they could make you feel things a lot of TV shows and movies nowadays have been unable to do for me.

It makes me sad when these shows get pushed aside for mind-numbing content.

It makes me want to make my own special kind of show.

Maybe I will someday, but for now I will thoroughly enjoy those special shows when they come my way.

I also want to say thank you to those people who write and produce these classy shows, you make my day and my week. Thank you to the actors who bring these beautiful characters to life, your hard work is most definitely worth it in my eyes. And finally, thank you to the viewers who help keep these pieces of art alive with your words and your deeds.


Godspeed ladies and gents