Sometimes death feels like an everlooming threat on the peace and calm in life. It sits outside your door, scratching at the glass, hoping to find a way in. Everytime someone dies, I'm reminded of how little time any of us really have. The friends I'm with now could leave my house and have a horrible wreck on their way home. These thoughts worm their way into my brain and cause me nothing but stress. All I can do is hold the people I love tight right now in this moment, and pray that God allows me to keeps these precious and fragile beings for just a little while longer. Every visit is the last, or as a TV show I'm very fond of said, "Every Christmas is last Christmas."
This is for my friends and my family that have left for the great unknown; Lucky you guys. I hope heaven is as good as they say it is. Don't have too much fun without me. See you soon <3

Myriad

Hey there,
It's been a while.
How've you been?
Good?
Good.
Me?
I'm ok.
Been pretty busy.


Ok let's talk. The topic I've had on my mind is friends. More specifically, my friends.

It feels like all my life, I've been surrounded by "Yes Men" friends. Guys and gals that I met and we either agree about everything or we are just too afriad to tell the other what we actually think because we have issues and need friends. I can't, at this moment, think of anything my basic friend group disagrees on. And this kinda bugs me. Now you probably think I should be grateful that my friends get along and stuff and I am glad that they do for the most part, but I also feel like people should disagree sometimes. That way we know where everyone stands on a topic and we dont just bottle up feelings of anger which could then turn into ugly arguements about silly things. Like, if you dont like the way "Greg" talks or something then... please say something. Dont leave me hanging here bud.
I guess what got me started thinking about this is a girl I met at a campout. We were both bored and hot and we just started talking to each other. Then our moms started talking and we just started to hang out. She's awesome and I wouldnt trade our friendship for anything. But she and I disagree on stuff. Frequently. But there arent any nasty arguements, we just share our points of view on the topic and playfully make fun of each other for their views on which superhero is the best. Or which one of our friends is going to end up in jail first.

I dont know what Im saying. I guess I just think you should disagree with your friends out loud sometimes. Its good to say your views in front of someone else other then your mirror.
You may just find out you were wrong.

Godspeed ladies and gents

Myriad

Story excerpt #1 (I think Ghost hyjacked my account again...)

IS SHE HERE? DID SHE LEAVE? NO? YES? YES!!!

┬┴┬┴┤ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)├┬┴┬┴

 I CAN PLAY NOW!!
oh wait i should be quiet so she doesnt come back... 0~0 

Hello again|´・ω・)ﾉ~

I hope you remember meeee!! but if you dont thats ok, im just your friendly, neighborhood Ghost! and ive got something to show you! Myriad makes really cool stories but doesnt like showing them to people. SO IM GONNA SHOW YOU A REALLY SHORT ONE! shell never know hee hee ^-^

hmmm now i have to find a good one... OH THIS ONES FUN!!!

its kinda out of context cause she rewrote it from a roleplay session she was in, BUT ITS STILL PRETTY NEAT.

ok ill stop talking now, but if she finds this DONT TELL HER IT WAS ME THAT SHOWED YOU THIS OKIII?? THANKS BYYYEEEE

(〃´▽｀)ﾉ^^^^ ミ☆☆sweet dreams!!☆☆彡

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Sora rushed away from the rebel camp in the woods, anger burning in her chest. After that thief had stolen from her magic room, taunted her, and disappeared into the woods by her tower, she had sworn to kill him. Sora made the decision to follow him to his home, hoping to catch him in a moment of weakness and cut off his head but had instead found a secret group of rebels. And now to top everything off she, the greatest assassin in the kingdom, had been spotted by the peasants in the camp.

“Bunch of stupid rebels. Well, wait ‘til I tell the King. You will all wish you hadn’t been born!”

Unfortunately for Sora, she wasn't looking where she was going and ran into one of the many traps surrounding the camp. The rope grabbed her booted leg and she was flung into the air.

“AHHH!”

She swung for a moment in shock, then looked up at her leg, which was now caught in a rope trap and had her dangling from a tree.
“Worst. Day. Ever.” she growled in disgust.

Quickly, she unfurled her beautiful, white wings and began flapping them, trying to get herself into a position to escape, but nothing worked.

Ryan, the thief who had stolen from the Angel, heard the noise coming from behind him and ran over to see what he caught. When he saw the flying “rat” hanging from his trap, he couldn’t help but laugh.

As soon as Sora heard laughter, she snapped her head to see who it was. When she saw it was the thief, her face darkened and she glared angrily at him with her bright purple eyes.

“I hate you so much.” she stated as Ryan pulled out his dagger.

He walked over to her very smugly.

“So, what brings you here?” he asked as he poked her in the nose with his dagger.

Unfortunately for Ryan, his face was within Sora’s range of motion and she took advantage of that. She slapped him hard across the face and continued to glare at him.

He was surprised by the action and reached up to his face and rubbed it gingerly.

“Ow….”

“Get. Me. Out.” Sora spat.

Ryan stepped back and made a face like he was thinking.

“Well if I do, then you would be able to tell people where my camp is.” He reasoned.

Sora shifted herself so that she was still looking at Ryan then grumbled under her breath.

“Now why would I do that? No one would want to come here.”

“Well you did.” He laughed and gave her a goofy grin.

As she wriggled her toes, trying to make sure they still had feeling, she responded in a flat tone, “I wonder who’s fault that is?”

Ryan walked around her a little and shrugged.

“Well the way I see it, if you hadn’t stolen my items then we wouldn’t be here now would we?” She hissed.

He didn’t look up.

“I needed it.”

“For what?”

“For the doctor.” he continued to answer vaguely.

Sora’s patience ran thinner and thinner as time passed.

“That makes it sooo much more clear.” she huffed.

His face just looked like he had given up trying to explain himself to his unwanted guest.

“Look pal, I’ve got better things to do then sit here and chat about…. whatever it is you hobos talk about. I’ve got a business to run.” she squirmed.

Now Sora was speaking of her potion making and selling services, but she was also referencing her other service. She was an assassin for hire and just a few days before she had been given and very lucrative assignment. Now she was stuck with this weirdo. At this point she didn’t even care about telling anyone about the rebels, she just wanted to go.

Ryan looked up at his trap and congratulated himself on how well it was holding up the Rat. Then decided to mess with her a little bit.

“Seems to be doing great so far.”

She squinted at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged.

“Nothing.”

Her face twisted with rage.

“Why you…” she tried reaching out and grabbing him to kill him but she was held back by the trap. She gave up and relaxed.

“Uhhgg!!”

Ryan gave her another look.

“LET ME OUT!!” She screeched.

He rubbed his chin, pretending to consider letting her down.

“I don’t think I want to.”

Many thoughts rolled through Sora’s head at that moment and most of them were ways to slowly murder the Thief boy in front of her. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

“Look, there’s got to be something ELSE you need. We could trade for it.” she tried to reason.

He turned to her, looking earnest.

“I need more people to join my cause.” he began, “The king is corrupt on greed and power.”

Sora rolled her eyes.

“Pfft, what do you know about the King?” Even as she said this, she knew Ryan was right. She just didn’t want to admit it. She still felt a sense of loyalty to the man who took her in and trained her to become what she was. He also paid her well when she completed the assignments he gave her.

Ryan again, tried to persuade Sora.

“We need to overthrow him and end his rule. He killed my parents.” his face darkened for a moment, “He claimed they were thieves.”

Sora wasn’t really paying attention to Ryan’s pleas, she instead was playing with her tunic.

“Well their son certainly is.” she quipped.

He clenched his hands.

“But really they were traders and hunters. He killed them because they wouldn’t sell their goods to him for a really low and unfair price.”

Sora dropped her arms and just hung in resignation to the fact that this boy wasn’t just going to let her go.

“Fine, so he’s a little on the crazy side.”

Ryan didn’t respond.

Sora crossed her arms in annoyance.

“I don’t see how any of this applies to me.” she grumbled.

He stepped over to another trap and crouched down to check it.

“The fact you could warn the king after I let you go keeps me from freeing you.”

A deep burning rage welled up in her chest and she finally snapped. She gave Ryan the most devilish grin and leaned towards him.

“What if I swear on your mommy’s grave?” The words sliding slickly off her tongue and burning into Ryan’s ears. He stood slowly and walked over to Sora, without looking at her. He then grabbed her and pushed her with all his might into the tree to which she was tied. Her head slammed into the trunk and she swung for a bit.

“AH!” she rubbed her head and began to giggle through the ache, “Sore there aren’t ya?”

He didn’t respond, instead he just turned and walked off. Sora panicked a moment and called out, “HEY! You can’t just leave me here!”

Ryan stopped in his tracks and pulled his trusty bow out. He nocked an arrow in it’s string and aimed at Sora without looking. Fear flashed in her eyes, her mind racing at a way to avoid the sharp projectile if he planned on killing her.

Then Ryan let go. The arrow left it’s string and flew straight through Sora’s ankle and the rope holding her there. She dropped with a scream and a thud. The pain filled her eyes with tears and she rolled over on her side, clutching her bleeding appendage. Ryan simply put his bow away and grinned at his handiwork.

Sora looked up from her place on the forest floor. With labored breathing and gritted teeth she made him a promise.

“You’ll... pay for that….”

Ryan gave Sora a thumbs up as he walked away from the bleeding Angel.

She pushed herself to her knees, wincing with every movement. She grimaced and clamped her eyes closed as she opened up her wings again, this time using them to hold her up.

She turned to fly away but her anger made her consider going after the Thief.

“I could get him now…”

But as she pulled out one of her blades, her ankle twisted and she curled up a little. She shook her head and flew out of the forest as fast as possible to lick her wounds and plan the Thief’s demise.

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Friendships, est. 2004

I believe there is a point that all relationships reach. It is the pinacle of the existence of said relationship and almost nothing could top it.
This point is reached when you and your friend no longer need to plan extensive outings, but are simply content with sitting somewhere, sharing some earbuds, and jamming to the same music together. You could literally be anywhere, the back of a car, their bedroom, or in a tree. Anywhere. Snacks are an added bonus but not required.
It has taken me and my friend 15 years to get to this point, but it is the best friendship I have. I hope there are many more years to come.

Happy birthday kiddo ≧﹏≦

Do you ever have someone interrupt you blog?

Do you ever feel like the world has forgotten you? Like, you're falling behind the pace of life and you feel like there's no way to catch up.

Do you ever just wi--

HOOLLD ON ITS MY TURN!!

0-o Hey, Ghost? This is my blog.

BUT ITS SO BORING AND DEPRESSING! "MYRIAD OF THOUGHTS" MY FOOT!

...Hmmm I didn't notice that. How strange.

YEAH SO IVE COME TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAPPY!!

Ghost, please stop shouting. I can only read bold caps for so long.

But I like talking like that... o(╥﹏╥)o

Please stop crying, you're flooding my desk.

YOU'RE NO FUN, THAT'S WHY YOU NEED ME!

I should've named you CapsLock or something...

✿◕ ‿ ◕✿

...Why are you staring at me like that?

☆(❁‿❁)☆ ...Introduce me...

Uuuhhh... Ok? Ahem, Hello everyone, this is Ghost. She's... a friend of mine.

JUST A FRIEND? GIRL IM PRACTICALLY APART OF YOU!!

Ok I think that is quite enough for now.

But i didnt get to do anything!!

Tomorrow kiddo, I'm tired.

gasp YOU GET TIRED??

Goodnight everyo--

NO YOU CANT MAKE ME GO I WANT TO STAY UP LATE AN--

Don't date people in your friend group.... please for the love of sandwiches.

I don't think you should date within your friend group.
"What? Why not?" I hear you say, "Shouldn't that be the first place you look, to someone you already know pretty well?"
No.
Here's why:

If you like your other friends in your group to any extent, you wont do this to them. Because either way it goes, its not fun for anyone.
Alright, lets look at the negative scenario first. If you guys break up people's feelings get hurt, some are forced to pick sides and the whole group falls apart.
Bad ending #1.
If your relationship goes pretty well, everyone around you is uncomfortable, even if they deny it. You holding hands with your significant other, touching in any way, and sweet talking to each other isn't cute around people who have been friends with both of you for a long time. It's just.... weird....
Bad ending #2.

I unfortunately have Bad Ending #1 going on right now. The parties we used to have together feel empty now and everyone's so cryptic in our group chats. There's blame and hurt feelings all around.

And to think, just a couple of months ago everything was fine and dandy. It was just perfect without all of this.

Now I'm not against making friends with your BF/GF before you actually start dating, in fact I'm for that but what I'm talking about is a little different. Having the same group of friends since about Middle School and then having them date each other. That's what I'm talking about.
Bleh, I'm rambling now. Sorry.
Guess this is goodbye.
waves goodbye

I'm in a mood so I wrote another poem

If I showed you my happy drawings
You'd think my life was pretty great
That it was full of party's and sparkles
And ice cream and cake.

If I gave you my sad paintings
You might think I'm depressed
That I might need a therapist
Or a vacation to de-stress.

If I showed you my dark drawings
Or maybe the ones that are gorey
You might think me a monster
And say that I'm contradictory.

Any way you look at my predicament
It seems like I just lose
But if I close my eyes and listen
I can hear a different tune.

Invisible (a poem)

I am Invisible

Lies and truth, divisible

They say one thing but their bodies say another

This is evident from my best friend down to my mother

I am Invisible

I need someone to speak to but no one is there

No one cares enough to know and

No one knows enough to care

I am Invisible

My struggle is clear

I know there is a God who loves me

But I also want acceptance from my peers

I might be Invisible?

To the world I am nothing, a burden, an afterthought

But to Him I am everything, a diamond, and Blood bought

So I might be feeling like trash in a dirty can

I must remember, day and night

That this is His plan

I am not Invisible

But I still feel this way

Every waking moment

Every single day.

x

Sometimes...

Sometimes, boy's want to meet a girl and become their knight in shining armor. To whisk the beautiful girl away from her boring life or oppressive parents. But sometimes, the girl doesn't believe her life is boring. Sometimes she loves her parents and likes being around them.

Sometimes the boy doesn't understand...

Sometimes it's the other way around.

The girl wants to be rescued, to be taken to some far off place, away from her parents and her life. But the boy loves his parents and wants them to be around.

Sometimes the girl doesn't understand.

I'm angry (A true story by yours truely)

Hey there,
It's time for a story.
And it's not one of those YouTube click bait stories where I say I almost died but it wasn't that serious. No, I'm just angry.
Angry that I can't force people to do what I want them to do. And before you start thinking I'm some megalomaniac, let me explain.

In November-ish, two of my close friends started dating each other. Do you see my problem yet...?

The first thing I thought when they told me was, "Ew, you two are like my little siblings you're grossing me out!"
That was my simple thought.
The next one wasn't really a thought, it was a feeling. I felt lonely. They hadn't even gone on their first date and I already felt like they had left me. I immediately felt like I was going to be forgotten by my friends, one by one.
I'm over dramatic like that.
My final feeling was one of dread. These two individuals have always had negativity issues and one had already been in multiple failed relationships(that according to him weren't his fault). So putting these two together in a romantic and "feely" relationship? I smelled trouble.

But I couldn't tell them that. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I thought their dating relationship wouldn't work out. That it made me nervous and uncomfortable. "You're being selfish." I told myself. "This isn't about you! This could work out in the end. Maybe they're the ones to help each other!"
But my feelings were still there. It was awkward to be around them together, it still felt wrong. But I gritted my teeth and smiled for them, they seemed happy together at first.
At first.
Then you know the usual. He misunderstands, she gets sad, he tries to fix it, she pushes away. Aaaaaannnnd then the reverse. She sees an issue, he wants her to solve the problem, she wants to work together, he gets mad, she tries to fix it, he pushes away.

Do you see my problem yet???

We are all in Discord servers together. Now she won't talk to him and he just sends depressing messages.
We have parties at my house once a month. One doesn't want to come in fear of the other showing up.

And I sit here, feeling useless. I can't say anything. I've never experienced something like this before. I hate it. I want it to end. I want us to be friends and to go back to where it began. I want to send this to them so maybe they'll wake up. Maybe they'll see that there are more people here then just them.

I'm angry.
Not at them.
At myself.
For not being able to stop them.
For not being able to force people to do what I want.
....

...do you see my problem yet?...